Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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