i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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