he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When are your genitals available?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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