This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
