four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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