how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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