Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.

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  (813): dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though. http://tfl.nu/527j
  Replies (13) Good night (1622) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (261) Good night (4564) Bad night (79220)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

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  (484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh
  Replies (19) Good night (4889) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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  (906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la
  Replies (25) Good night (6852) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20734) Bad night (2462)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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  (218): Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it. http://tfl.nu/dm7u
  Replies (44) Good night (8163) Bad night (2627)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping

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  (267): that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping http://tfl.nu/gh69
  Replies (7) Good night (735) Bad night (2130)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.

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  (334): It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls. http://tfl.nu/cfx1
  Replies (7) Good night (2099) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage

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  (201): His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage http://tfl.nu/lo9j
  Replies (5) Good night (2020) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

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  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.

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  (540): He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back. http://tfl.nu/es5h
  Replies (14) Good night (1640) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!

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  (561): I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE! http://tfl.nu/qqyw
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."

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  (570): I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls." http://tfl.nu/63z2
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.

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  (316): Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember. http://tfl.nu/lmps
  Replies (0) Good night (436) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?

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  (814): Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade? http://tfl.nu/q9y9
  Replies (3) Good night (220) Bad night (469)

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