he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.