I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
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nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?