so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Randomize
