I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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