That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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