she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
