it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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