mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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