she woke up with a sticky ear
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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