That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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