ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
