Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize