glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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