I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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