So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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