I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
