Me. At least after what I've been through.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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