just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Its about making memories worth repressing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
