i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
