This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
