Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
