He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
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You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
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Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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