she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
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Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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