It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
