it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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