i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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