Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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(858): View more from California

Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.

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(713): View more from Texas

I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock

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(817): View more from Texas

there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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(310): View more from California

I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?

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(347): View more from New York

All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.

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(817): View more from Texas

The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....

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