So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!