I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.