Got a toothbrush?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..