You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.