Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again