Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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