my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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