She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
