It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
