jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
