Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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