She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
