i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
