do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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