I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just puked most of my soul out..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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