babies were throwing up all over the place
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize