So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?