question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
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I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was