Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge