I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"