i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.