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• (317): View more from Indiana

  question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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• (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (716): View more from New York

  I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.

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• (619): View more from California

  im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet

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• (904): View more from Florida

  This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was

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