...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
