I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize