So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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