the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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