At least make sure they are 18
Why
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
