Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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