Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
