Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
