Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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