I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
