wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
