Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize